Joy

I’ve been feeling a little strange lately…I’m not sure what to call it…”down…blue…annoyed…” I think part of it is because we’ve been going non-stop for the past few months.  Everything has been good & fun, but for an introvert too much going-going-going leads to a depleted source of energy & excitement about another activity on the calendar. Unless that activity entails time at home, sitting around in sweatpants by the cozy fire with a good book & some good, strong coffee. (Well, that’s what I’ve been wanting anyway.)  I’ve felt this “unrest” building & building the past few weeks.

Yesterday was the worst. And I was thinking through things, trying not to be selfish, trying to get over “what I want” & be more accommodating to those around me (namely, my gracious & understanding husband). And I know that my personality leads me to certain desires, tendencies, etc…but that it doesn’t define me or what I should do.  Sometimes you need to do things, even though you don’t want to. And I put worth in personality types, I really do…but I think they’re more for understanding why you react/think/feel the way you do sometimes, not necessarily to use as an excuse.

And then I read something this morning that reaffirmed what I was thinking yesterday. It’s from “Today is Your Best Day” by Roy Lessin. “Joy is the highest level of delight that a person can experience. Human happiness is dependent upon the experiences and circumstances of life, while joy is dependent upon God alone. God, not your personality type, is the source of your joy. Today, joy flows from His heart to yours like a fountain that will never run dry.”

This encouraged me today. And I’m going to try really hard today to not let my circumstances determine my joy. (And hope that my alone time by the fire & in my sweatpants will come soon.)

3 Replies to “Joy”

  1. yep. in the same mode, and i’m sure our personality types aren’t too different. Was feeling that way for sure when I quickly said hello yesterday at WM. I needed out of there badly, but sorry I didn’t take time to chat. We’ll call soon and have you guys for dinner. You can wear sweatpants if you want. Ben can’t.

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  2. Hey Beth. I’ll be praying for you to get through this time. I remember feeling like this A LOT in Korea. Sometimes it seemed impossible to get some quiet down time, alone. It was so frustrating. I always felt like I was at the mercy of everyone else (especially Dusty). I never figured out how to get more time alone, but I did learn how to be more prayerful and present with God even in all the busyness and social functions and constantly being on the go. This definitely helped me become more joyful on the inside.

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